how to make it happen so you’ve got to know the steps to make it happen yeah was just thinking especially when you start to get older too now you’re making money now you got a job and now you’re even more at risk for using buying things for a girl as your way of showing her you like her you got the money now you’re not this you know the 16-year-old kid you know with no money you know you’re an older man you got your job you got your money so all of a sudden you’re thinking well this is a good solution buy her this I’ll buy her that but we know that’s a bad frame to be in when she starts seeing you that way and don’t use that because Chris brought up an amazing point there because
I like we said both a lot of our clients are older a lot of them you know have had have you know the finances to be generous with women and I was coaching one guy and he was buying I think it was in the wintertime and he was buying this girl these like expensive gloves right and he was justifying it to me he’sgoing yeah but
I can afford it I want to do something nice there I godo you really want to do something nice or you think this is going to get you something because I go it’s not only not going to get you something it’s actually going to hurt your rights if you know it’s going to hurt you you’re saying you want to do it but she doesn’t want that she doesn’t want to get this gift from you it’s awkward it makes you feel weird so you think you’re being nice by doing it you think you’re doing something that’s like good but you’re creating an awkward feeling in her by giving her a gift because now there’s this weirdness there that she got this expensive gift from you and you’re not even dating
so it’s not you can’t justify it with but I wanted to do it right right it’s it’s hard once you start to establish that kind of frame with a woman where you’re buying her stuff listen someone’s always going to look at you differently if you’re always getting them something if you have a friend and they and they win the lottery it’s like all of a sudden you’re just like this is my friend that’s won the lottery you’re just going to see them as this person with all that money and you don’t want to be seen that way by a woman it’s just not going to lead to anything good yeah so the third mistake and this is again something that we notice all the time is taking on a mentoring role with a younger woman right and this is where you let’s say
you have something in the common right I have a dozen I mean literally almost every older guy that I’ve coached winds up in the friend zone because of this right um one guy that I coached was aa um like I don’t know if it was a martial arts or some sort of you know mixed martial arts instructor kickboxing type stuff and he had like a client took her under his wing she wanted to go out and be create her own studio where she taught and he began this relationship where he was like her mentor getting her business off the ground thinking it’s drawing them closer together but the problem is when you develop that relationship that’s all it becomes, yeah I mean it feels good again we’re getting older guys you have experience with life so when you see someone a younger woman
that you’re interested in you kind of can’t help yourself to be like well I’ve been through that let me tell you how you should do this and let me tell you this is one of the rules of life you should do this and you kind of start to try to solve all her problems and do all this stuff while it’s well-intentioned it just doesn’t lead to the type of attraction you’re going to want yeah because it gets it creates a dilemma in her mind right and the dilemma is wow you know and we Kristen always say this right and if you feel like there might be something there between you and a woman there probably is right.
you’re right unless you’re like a diagnosed you know schizophrenic where you ‘delusional um generally most times if you’re feeling some level of there’s something there there something there right but when you when you take on this mentoring roles with her you’re creating an obstacle to her being with you because of the fact that now she’s going to go well if things get weird right and and I’ve talked about in other videos that there’s all these objections swirling around her mind right well what if things get weird now it’s going to fuck up the entire you know the studio
we’re creating and he’s helping me create now if I if we have you know if i went updating him and then he turns out to be a creep I’m not gonna get that support anymore and in her mind, it’s like oh so one of the things that I tell my clients right is that it’s really you know Chris said this that you want to do it right and partly it’s because you want to doit I enjoy doing it like I love business I love there’s a lot of things I love talking about and I would love to help somebody but you have to realize that it’s not the only value you have and a lot of older guys they attach their value to their ability to be a good businessman or to be good at you know sports or something so they think like whoa that’s what I can impress this girl with right I can impress her with my knowledge of business and that’s going to make me attractive but in reality, you want to impress her by being a charismatic seductive.
man mature leading bold right we talked about being afraid to make a move when you make a move that’s bold and bold is attractive right you want to show those that are what’s attractive about you that’s what’s going to make her want to date you want to make her sleep with you it’s not oh but he’s so good at helping me do my taxes you know like that’s not going to make her want to sleep with you right impress her with your experience with women mean you’ve got the experience now you’ve been through different relationships.
you may have been married at one point you’ve lived with a woman you’re way better than these guys that don’t have any of this experience use that to your advantage yeah so one of the questions that we all we always get what if Chris bobby what if I’m already in the quote-unquote friend zone and we’re going to prove to you there is no such thing really as the friend zone what if I what is this salsa teacher of mine we have this rapport but I kind of blew it or I you know i don’t I made my move and now we we see each other every week at salsa lessons but I just kind of feel like
we’re just friends now or I have this-worker and at first, we were very flirty but didn’t ask her out and now we’re kind of friends what do I do then and what Chris and I want to invite you to a master class and I’ll give Chris 100 credit for this because I was at a seminar about I guess it was almost 10 years ago now I walked in and Chris was giving a speech called the friend
she falls in love with and I was blown away by the speech I’ve literally um I’ve taken bits and pieces of it and tried to teach my one-on-one clients it but I’ve never talked about it publicly because it was infringing on you know kind of his you know his it was his ideas I didn’t want to do it but finally I said Chris like can we just do this because I’m tired of like saying because I recommend clients to him all the time and I’ll send him like one of my personal clients I’m like talking to Chris and you explain this sort of theory of becoming the friend she falls in love with it’s not about getting out of the friend zone right no it’s not about getting out of the friend zone in fact.
we’re going to prove there really is no friend zone and you’re actually right where you want to be being friends with this girl it’s a huge advantage for you we’re going to prove that to you so there’s a link below this video and uh we have a couple of classes to choose from but you don’t want to miss this um we’re not going to be offering this long Chris is married now this is a rare rare opportunity to see this class the friend she falls in love with sign up for the master class now